Seeking Solace
by AwesomeKid and MidnightWriter
Summary: The Santana-POV sequel to Love, coming more directly afterward than Dark my Puck-POV sequel . Santana is upset over losing Puck, and her best friend comes to comfort her. Femslash, if you didn't guess. Rated T for Santana's dirty mouth.


After her episode with Puck, Santana strode confidently through the halls until she reached the girls' restroom. Dropping her Queen Bee front, she quietly sat on the radiator in the back of the tile-covered room. Her tears streamed down her face noiselessly, and her sobs wracked her body but were still stoically silent. _How did this happen? How did I lose him to _her_? How could I not notice the change in him, once he'd dated _her_? She doesn't know how to handle him. I _do_! _Her thoughts came out as whispers under her breath as her tears continued to fall.

She heard the door swing open and she stood quickly, wiping her eyes. Thank God she wasn't a puffy-eye crier. "San? You OK?" It was Brittany, her best friend and the only person to know how she truly felt about Puck. The head cheerleader shook her head, and Brittany ran over, taking a perch next to her best friend on the radiator. "What happened, sweetie?" Brittany knew better than to jump to conclusions, but her conclusions would have been right anyway. "Puck. He… he's in love with… Berry." Brittany's eyes widened. San didn't even have the strength to insult Rachel Berry? Wow… this must really be bad. "How do you know, honey?"

Santana smiled weakly. "He started making out with me in the hallway just like normal, and the L-word just kinda slipped out. He went off on me, and when I tried to snap him out of his tirade, if you know what I mean, he dragged me into an empty classroom. We were almost to the ripping-our-clothes-off part of our normal routine when he just… stopped. He started talking about his… his _feelings_. He was being _considerate_ of me. He said if I was in love with him then we shouldn't keep screwing around like we are. It was like he was a completely different person! God, Brit… he was… _Noah_. It's like Berry did a personality transplant or a fucking exorcism or something, just by calling him by his damn first name all the time! So I said, 'Noah, I'm not in love with you,' and he got all suspicious. He was like 'Nobody ever calls me that except,' and then he just stopped dead in his tracks. He was in this, like, trance or whatever thinking about Rachel fucking Berry. So I went into crazy bitch mode and started jabbing my finger in his face and accusing him. I got so out of control… I asked him _why_, Brit. I asked him to tell me _why_ he was fooling around with me and every other slut and her mother in Lima when he was still in love with Berry. I've never _cared_ why before! Why did I do that now? Fuck, this is so stupid!" Brittany put a soothing hand on her friend's back and rubbed slow circles on top of the tight Cheerio uniform that matched her own.

After a few minutes, Santana's sobs calmed again and she was able to continue. "He said he didn't know why. He's not in love with Quinn, which I guess is good, but he loves the baby. And he feels like Rachel made him feel differently about himself. He told me 'I'm supposed to be Noah fucking Puckerman, I'm supposed be able to do whatever the hell I want.' And he _is_, Brit, and he _can_. But he said it makes him feel 'fake' (she pulled out her air quotes) inside when he pulls that stunt, and he said that's something _Berry_ did to him. She made him fucking _care_ about his own _feelings_. He's never even _known_ he had feelings before now. And then… then _I_ broke it off with _him_ because I don't want him to be seeing Rachel every time he takes me up against a wall. I left first, his mouth was still hanging open in shock, but not before I kissed him on the cheek and told him "I love you" in Spanish. Shit, this is so fucking stupid. Why did Rachel fucking Berry have to ruin it all?" She went into a fresh round of sobs, somehow still completely silent, and Brittany reassured her softly, "It's OK, honey. It's gonna be OK," still rubbing circles on her back.

"No, it's not! Because now he's probably off somewhere fooling around with… with _her. _With _Rachel Berry_." She tried to spit the words out venomously, but the most she could muster was childish annoyance. Brittany kissed the top of her forehead and said, "Then screw him. Not like _that_, San. If he wants to fall in love with some crazy-ass Type-A loser like Man-Hands, then it's his loss." Santana nodded her agreement but still couldn't believe in it.

She laid her head on Brittany's shoulder and tried to take comfort in the repetitive motion that Brittany continued on her back, trying to sooth her. Brittany smiled, lifting Santana's head up off of her shoulder, and taking her best friend's face gently in her hands, she said, "I'm serious. If Puck can't see a gem when she's right in front of him, ready and willing for a good screw, he's got to be a new kind of dumbass." Santana managed a watery laugh and smiled. "Thanks Brit. I needed that." Brittany took advantage of the closeness and quickly kissed the other girl on the lips. "You're welcome!" she cheerfully replied. Santana's eyes were wide, but soon glinted with mischief. _Maybe Puck isn't so much of a loss_, she thought as she leaned in for another kiss.

A/N: This is dedicated to Vicki, who asked us to do a Brittany/Santana bit a while ago. Originally I wanted to do a missing-moment fic exploring the situation behind Brit's "If sex were dating, Santana and I would be dating". But I still haven't been able to write it yet, the inspiration just hasn't hit me. So here's a little somethin' to tide you over, hon! :D I apologize if either girl is a little OOC, there's not exactly much to go on in canon anyway. Leave me a review and tell me what you think!


End file.
